Daily Gratefulness Practice Gone Wrong
Every morning, I write 1-2 things I’m grateful for. It’s easy to forget what you have if you never take a minute to consider what’s around you.
Yesterday I wrote “Hot water in shower.” and when I jumped in the shower, there was only cold water. (Water heater busted!)
“If I did a ‘gratefulness practice’ to feel good… am I now supposed to feel bad?”
Pausing to think, my error became clear: How can you be grateful about something that hasn’t happened yet?
- Hot water
- Enjoyable work
- Good relationships
- Confidence and skill
- Health (And the health of family)
- Financial security
These things are NOT guaranteed tomorrow, but they’d be common fodder for a gratefulness exercise.
Any moron can write “I’m grateful I earn $10,000,000 next year.”
I’m an idiot if I’m grateful to someone who says “I’ll pay you $10,000,000 next year.”
At small scale, expecting hot water during a gratefulness exercise can lead to similar disappointment.
In both cases, gratefulness about the unknown future is not gratefulness. It is an expectation, perhaps unlikely or illogical, that needs fulfilling.
The Solution: Be Grateful For What’s Guaranteed
- Grateful about what is usually the case.
- Grateful about the known past.
I can quite confidently be grateful that I usually enjoy a hot shower, and that I enjoyed a hot shower yesterday.
The change is subtle, but the gratefulness practice is more effective.
You know you are being grateful, rather than expecting an outcome from an uncertain future.